What is and What Should Never Be

July 1, 2007

I got out of the shower today, and found my dad in my room, holding a stack of my drawings (which I don’t want my parents looking at because they don’t exactly compliment me on them).  He then tells me that I should move them away from my external hard drive because they were sitting right next to it, and said that the hard drive is hot.  I responded like I always do when my dad pesters me about stupid shit like this:  “Who cares?”  I said it in a irritated tone, because I am irritated.  Then he asks me why I respond to him in an “angry” tone, and goes on to ask why I couldn’t just respond to his question with something like, “It’s ok if the papers are there.”  I was caught off guard.  I wasn’t expecting him to question my tone and so I didn’t have an answer.  So, I did the next best thing- I didn’t say anything.

I was mad that I couldn’t think of anything to say.  Afterall, I have given this a lot of thought.  I don’t like getting mad at my dad.  Most people don’t.  But when he keeps asking me, or the rest of my family for that matter, stupid little questions that he could easily figure out himself or making comments on things that I’m doing, it gets really irritating.  Take, for example, something he does all the time.  When he calls my cell phone, and I pick up and say “Hello?”, he goes:  “Hello?  Wilson-ha” (said in a Cantonese accent).  This is so annoying.  Who else would be picking up my cell phone?

Another thing he does is constantly trying to remind me to do things.  Like recently, he’s been pestering me to go renew my passport.  He made me go take my damned passport pictures, asked me if I filled out my form yet, asked me when I’m gonna go turn in my form, made me retake my picture, and so on.  I’m going crazy.  Remarks that I have in mind:  1.  Why are you so worried?  2.  You have more important things to keep track off (which he likes to rub in my face too).  3.  I’m not traveling anytime soon, so what’s the rush?  Jesus, it’s like it’s his own passport or something.  But it’s not just for my passport.  He reminds me to enroll for summer school, buy text books, clean the house, go to the doctor, go to the dentist, go to the optometrist, do my FAFSA, check my finances, the list continues.  If I need his help with anything, I would ask him for it.  It is just too unfortunate that I can’t convey all this to him in Cantonese.  I am only conversational afterall.  But I will just have to tell him why he’s so annoying whenever the chance arises, which will be soon I’m sure.  
Am I wrong to respond to his questions and comments about insignificant things, and my personal business with an annoyed tone?

I feel that I am not alone.  Most parents/guardians feel the need to baby their children until… forever I suppose.  For those of us who want so independence without totally cutting off our relationship with our parents, it may be difficult if they are stubborn. 


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