The Business of Getting Down

August 20, 2010

I have about a month left at my internship, and I’m still jobless– though I’m not that worried.  I’ve been looking through job postings and 99% of them need a portfolio.  Of course.  I lack one, and therefore did not apply to 99% of those job postings.  But I’m not that worried.  Why?
While I obviously don’t want to move back home, it really is my only reasonable option at the moment.  It will allow me to work on projects so I can add it to my portfolio.  Speaking of which, I need to work on my portfolio itself, which is my website.  I feel like I know what to do, so that’s not a big deal.  You know what they say:  “knowing is half the battle.”  What does worry me though, is that when I finally follow through with all these projects, whether or not it’ll be good enough to get me a job.  If not then I’m pretty screwed, because at that point, grad school will look bleak considering they want work experience and (surprise, surprise) a solid portfolio.  But at the same time, I think I’m being too hard on myself.  Another thing that they do in fact say is:  “you’re your own worst critic,” as I’ve heard people actually say that to me, but sometimes I feel like I’m not, and that they’re just being too nice.  So then how do I pass this stage in my skills where everything I do seems mediocre?
It’s just like my working habits at my internship I suppose:  just start doing something even if you have no idea what to do, otherwise you’ll just sit there wasting time.  The previous sentence wasn’t meant to be some profound lesson or anything, but more so a relevant lesson I’m applying to a similar area of my life.  But really though, you really have no idea how much time I’ve wasted before by just sitting there because I was too lazy to even attempt something so I shouldn’t let the same thing happen to my life.


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