Shake It Out

December 23, 2012

Dear 2012,

What a fucking year you were.


I read/skimmed through my posts this year, and I have to say, this year seems to have gone by even faster than last year.  So much so that I actually skimmed through many posts because it was still so fresh in my mind.  Honestly, I have no real sense of where/how to begin summarizing this year.  I guess last year’s final post would be a good place to start.  In that post, I listed all the things I hoped to accomplish this year.  Here’s the recap:

Next year, I plan to

  1. switch to a job that pays me more to do what I want to do, so I can bitch about work that at least interests me.
  2. hang out with my friends more.
  3. be more outgoing.
  4. plan another extensive trip abroad, perhaps around Christmas time-New Year’s Eve/Day.
  5. save more money, and max out my Roth contribution limit.
  6. go to a Wilco concert in January! and go to more concerts in general.
  7. be more healthy, physically and mentally.
  8. get more comfortable on the surfboard.
  9. maaaaaaybe get a road bike.
  10. start being more in-the-know on music again.
  11. make 2012 more memorable than 2011.
  12. try harder.

One:  check.  Two:  check.  Three:  better than last year, so, check.  Four:  check.  Five:  not really saving as much as I could, but the better pay is certainly helping; I still have time to max out my Roth.  Six:  done and done.  Seven:  physical health could use some work, but mental health kinda improved upon my new job.  Eight:  this will probably remain unchecked forever; I don’t think I will ever get comfortable on that damn board.  Nine:  nope; too poor/lazy to buy one.  Ten:  started picking this up the past month or two, but I’ll give myself a “check” for the effort.  Eleven:  check– of sorts; it’s more memorable in its own way.  Twelve:  I tried somewhat harder; more next year.That’s great and all, but what does 2012 actually mean to me?  Change.  Reading through my posts, I’m a little bummed that most of them were about work.  That was to be expected though, since that was on my to-do list this year.  But at the same time, I feel like I crammed a lot of firsts into this year, which I’m incredibly proud of.  The major life milestones, of course, but also skydiving, going to sporting events, visiting my friends in San Diego more, trying more different restaurants, going to more concerts, meeting new people.
I’m sad to see 2012 end, but I’m excited too.  2013 just seems like it’s jam packed with so much potential to be an amazing year.  Here’s what I hope to get from it.

  1. Move into a place without family (either alone or with friends).
  2. Date.
  3. Do more short trips to places in the US.
  4. Phase out my old wardrobe even more.
  5. Travel abroad again.
  6. Make new friends to hang out with more regularly.

These are some pretty hefty goals.  Honestly, it’s completely possible that none of them will happen, even number 5.  I hate to admit this to anyone, let alone myself, but traveling is exhausting.  I know I’m going to have a blast, but I guess since I haven’t had time to veg out for days on end like I used to, I don’t feel the same urge to leave the country alone again.  I’m almost content with going somewhere domestic with some friends and doing something with them here, without having to exert so much effort planning a whole trip.  But that’s for future me to decide.  I foresee a lot of big decisions I’m going to have to make in 2013, and I don’t quite feel ready to make them.  But then again, I don’t think I’m ever completely ready to do anything.  I just have to do it.

I hate how shitty this post turned out.  It’s contrived and uninspired.  It’s true.  My posts this year were mildly excruciating to read because all I did was bitch about work.  It’s all over now though.  In two week, I’ll be back in America, and things will start fresh again.  I think I’m just going to stop this post here.  My apprehension about my trip tomorrow, doubled by the fact that I will never feel like I’m completely packed, is making me feel terrible inside.

Lastly, all negativity aside, happy new year.


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