Change It All But Can’t Change What We’ve Been

August 4, 2013

I guess being high in your free time makes a person a whole lot less inclined to write a blog post about what they’re thinking about, which would explain my absence from this particular web presence of mine. Much has gone on since my last post, but nothing particularly interesting aside from me finally moving out of this apartment. It reached a point where I was cursing at my neighbor, and my neighbor was cursing at me one Saturday morning at 8. The bitch in the lot right next time mine insisted on yelling her dog’s name, over and over again. I finally snapped when I was consciously awake, and then it escalated from there. The point is, I’m through with this place at the end of the month. Happy times. Happy times, indeed. So the search has begun on my apartment, which is scaring me a little. We already gave our landlords our notice, so we have to move out exactly on the 31st. Since all the apartments are in pretty high-demand, they don’t hold them for more than 2 weeks, so I haven’t been able to lock anything down. Overall, a bit apprehensive, but generally excited. I will finally be able to settle into my own place with the freedom to do whatever I please, even if it’s only for a year or two. The only thing I’m dreading is the rent increase.

I decided to take a break on trying to leave work. Of course, I’m just saying that now. Who knows how I’ll feel in a few weeks. We recently got a load of new projects coming in, so I’m no longer sitting there twiddling my thumbs all day. And with this whole moving situation, I figured I’d take my chances on asking for a raise. My boss has a Platinum AmEx which I found out about when I signed for her at a lunch where she had to leave early. So since then, I keep thinking that this bitch probably makes a shit load of money, and that they can afford to toss me some scraps if they realize that they need me to stay. There’s that episode, and then there’s the bit about my ability to travel this year: whether it’s financially sound to do so, and whether or not I really want to. Of course I want to, but I suppose I don’t have that same yearning as before. Or perhaps it’s just me being preoccupied with other thoughts that I’ve never had to worry myself with before. Work is more stimulating than my past jobs, and living in Los Angeles has been an experience in itself. It’s difficult to admit, but my eagerness to travel has dropped ever-so-slightly. It’s almost discernible, but the fact that it isn’t going up makes me feel a bit soulless. I will probably just pick a place and go for a few days this year / New Year, just because fuck it; all my friends will be doing shit with their significant other, and I will just be doing shit in another country. Gotta do something productive with my single life. I haven’t regretted it yet, so I’m optimistic about it.

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