I Dive into Frozen Waves

September 23, 2013

I think that I hate socializing most of the time because I can tell when people aren’t interested in talking. I know they’re not interested because I do the exact same shit when I’m not interested and don’t try to hide it. (Which would mean that if people do the following things and think they’re actually doing a good job “acting” interested, then they’re incredibly foolish and confused.) Their gaze stays the same with the exception of when you give them a momentary look, there’s a slight delay in their response, their response themselves are incredibly generic and generally the same tone, and most importantly, they do nothing to follow up on what you said or their follow up is weak. That’s when I know they’re bored and don’t give more than a third of a shit when I’m talking. I’m not sure if other people are aware that those around them are just as bored when they talk. Maybe they realize it but don’t care, so they just keep talking. Or maybe they really don’t see the signs and think they’re actually entertaining the person. Or, maybe I’m just wrong about reading people. It’s more than likely the first or last thing in that list, and I’m not sure which is worse.

Separate note:  I just remembered that Wilfred episode where Elijah Wood wakes up from his trip and tells Wilfred he’s sad, and then cries. Now I also feel like I need a good, solid cry. About nothing in particular though. It sounds cathartic– to let whatever it is I’m holding in– go. But I can’t get myself to do it.

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